Butter My Biscuit: How to deal with frozen airplane spreads.

You’re on a transatlantic flight and food is finally being served. While you have picked chicken over fish once again, a much more daunting conundrum awaits: how the hell are you going to spread that inevitably frozen butter on your sandwich?

Butter my biscuit.

Don’t  you just hate it? Whenever you get a hot meal on your flight, it comes with a bread roll that’s so dry it could absorb all of your grandma’s saliva. The only way to avoid breaking your teeth mid-air is to butter your biscuit, making it a little bit more enjoyable. The problem is that your packet of butter has been frozen rock hard and there’s nothing you can do about it… Or is there?

Here’s the solution to all of your problems! You want to spread out some butter? Simply place the packet on top of your hot meal before opening it. Let is sit for about three minutes and – just like that – the butter will have the perfect density for you to work with.

But why?!

Seriously, all this trouble just to butter a sandwich – what’s up with that? I thought I’d take it upon myself to investigate the science behind this predicament but unfortunately, the airline’s response was less than satisfying.

While I applaud KLM for responding, they obviously don’t get it. Once again, it’s just BenVoyage against the world.

TLDR!

First things first: if you don’t like butter, you’ve probably wasted your time reading this post – #SorryNotSorry. For those of you out there who do love eating grease, you now finally have the solution to an ancient mystery. Congratulations. 

• Chicken or fish?
• Grab the packet of butter.
• Place it on top of the hot meal.

You can thank me later,

Ben Voyage, greaseballs!